The FAST track.

Am I on track?
What's missing in my walk that grieves God or misses the point?

Have you asked yourself what God desires from you that just isn't part of your walk?
Perhaps something that may be culturally muted or lost?
Recently I'm asking myself -- how critical is fasting?

I think the Lord is telling me it's very important.


It's not taught much in American churches.
To be honest, it feels a bit like manipulation to me. . . if I do this, God, you're supposed to do this.
It feels like a ramped up form of begging or attention getting from a busy Father.


I've been pondering this for months.
The Lord is firmly urging me into fasting. How is he doing this?
repetition....repetition....repetition

~ As ministry deepens and I see more of God's heart to heal and set free, a phrase Jesus said to his disciples keeps echoing in my mind, 'this kind comes out only with prayer and fasting'.

~ As one of my "dream girls" at EMI prays over me a few months ago she says something like, 'God wants you to embrace fasting...and I'm not talking about cutsie fasting, either.' I took that to mean minimal or "cheap" fasting -- like giving up chocolate or potato chips. [Uh oh]

~ In our October session of International School, Iko, a young Nigerian pastor, fasted every day of the school till 3pm. His father who was also attending said it is customary in Nigeria to fast on your birthday. It's a way of life there. Kind of like breathing.

~ I also "happen" to be in a new weekly fellowship with Susan, a new friend who leads prayer ministry in my new church. We found ourselves talking about fasting. A lot. It's been a struggle for her to embrace, too. She loaned me a book that has been very helpful.
With mutual encouragement we've been pressing into fasting.


Some highlights that are sticking with me:
• Fasting exposes our weakness -- the tyrany of the body and human appetite (check).
• Fasting is a means God gives to meet us in our weakness & reveal His strength (check).
• Fasting is an expression of hunger for more of God (check + check!).

How can I not do this then?
If it's not manipulation of God but partnership with him, I'm IN!!


FASTING SLOWLY
Rather than set myself up for failure by trying to fast for days, or even 24 hours, I started by fasting from dinner to 3pm the next day. Drinking only juice or water. Doable.

The challenge is disciplining my thinking away from a growling stomach and insistent thoughts of how long it will be before I can eat. I'm trying to take time to pray rather than steam roll through my TO DO list...my typical day.
This must not be typical at all! That's the point!

Stomach growls...I lift up a prayer.
Food thoughts intrude...I think of something to praise God for.
Lunch hour: I go for a prayer walk and listen.

So far the fruit of this seems to be a stronger nudge to examine what may be hindering freedom in my prayer and ministry power. It has made me self-conscious.
I can see how certain things rule me....
like turning on the TV first thing in the morning and first thing when arriving home from work....
or unwinding every day by playing computer games, for hours!
[You know it's bad when you close your eyes and see an imprint of game characters on the inside of your eyelids!]. . .
or reading about God rather than being still and listening for His voice.


Rather than sliding into a guilt trip I'm working to acknowledge a truth and choose something else. To choose. That's the point!

Walking through the routine of every day becomes somewhat hypnotic.
Fasting seems to remove the fog.
It awakens.

If this is a step higher up and deeper in (C.S. Lewis) to my relationship with God, how I hear Him and work out my salvation...then it's something I want to embrace.

Eventually I might get up to days or even weeks of fasting.
For now, it's a decision to move forward one step at a time.
Take it on as an adventure....a date....

Giving myself grace and seeing what God will do!
That I can embrace!